Well, it's been confirmed. My SOB ex is, indeed on a rendevous weekend somewhere with his online girlfriend. I am so relieved to finally know that my instincts were right, that I can trust my gut feelings. I needed to know if I was just being paranoid and jealous, or if my intuition was correct, as I apparently don't have the best history of knowing when he is lying. But I think it's safe at this point to just assume the worst until proven otherwise.
I am torn between two modes of thinking. On the one hand, I envision them having a romantic, fantasy-filled Valentine weekend on the East coast, full of passionate sex, and I am furious - angry that he can't even have the self-control to wait until the divorce is final (or filed, for that matter!) to get it on with his trampy internet girlfriend. But then, on the other hand, I am reminded of two very important factors: in the real world he is 1) not the best conversationalist; nor 2) the best lover. So this weekend may not turn out to be what either of them are expecting anyway, and she can have him. Plus, for all he knows, she may be 20 years older or 200 pounds heavier than he expected. (Just thank God he has already had a little "procedure", so I don't have to worry about any progeny resulting from this encounter.)
My other dilemma is that I have been played for the fool for so long, with his lying and getting away with it for all these years, that I would love to take a little bit of his joy away from this trip by letting him know that I know what's going on this time. But how? When he calls for the kids, say something outright, like, "Say hi to your girlfriend for me!" or should I say something more cryptic, and leave him wondering if I know? Or do I just ignore it and let it play out on it's own, hoping he will self-destruct? Patience has never been my strong point, and it's killing me now.
What would you do?
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8 comments:
I'd say to him that I hoped she was everything he'd dreamed she was and try to be as sincere sounding as possible because really, don't you think half of the thrill was the was sneaking behind your back part? Why not make it seem all hokey dokey and rob him of that aspect. And also, if it helps, my money would bet that there is already another internet interest. Guys like that are never satisfied.
somehow put a dont catch something and bring it home to the kids" qiup or ask if "her pic on adultfriendfinders was a true likeness??"
I'm so glad you're back posting (and commenting- thanks!).
How did you confirm that is where he is? I am glad you are learning to trust your gut. I think part of my struggles right now relate to not knowing if I an trust my gut, or when I'm being lied to.
So onto your question. Tricky. I think you want something biting, and yet subtle. Something that deflates him a bit, but also makes him think, hmm, what is she up to? You also don't want to come across as bitter or angry.
What about the false sincerity angle. Oh, wait, I'm just realizing this has all probably happened. Well, maybe it's not too late. A syrup-y sweet, hope this trip isn't too taxing, you so really need a break kind of line.
Obviously I've got nothing good to offer. Let us know how it all was. I am so glad you are standing strong.
I'm in stitches! Please tell what happened!!
Are you ever coming back? Inquiring minds want to know.... what happened to you!
So it's been over a year...........I just found your blog but I wonder, stranger, if you are ok. Did you work it out? Are you happy alone now? Did you find prince charming?
:)
I would do to him what would be devastating for me: behave as if I never cared.
I noticed your blog and I wanted to apologize for having found your blog after forging one of my own with the same title. Sorry!
I have felt your pain and can relate. My divorce was 8 years prior to yours and it definitely can wreak havoc. I hope that message finds you well and in a better state. Time helps, but cannot (completely) heal. I hope you'll visit my blog and be encouraged.
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